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Play the Rules


This is your life's biggest game. Shape your reality. Be a Game Changer
2- Be Whole 2.14- Simply be Happy Playing Rules

Rule 42: It is not happy people who are grateful. It is grateful people who are happy.

Turn your happiness inside out.

Carrying on in the same spirit of “disruptive innovation”, as in the business of creating new values that displace established dogmas, this next Rule shall bury another common misconception. Once and for all. 

  • We are systematically programmed to assume that to be happy we just need one additional bit. If we could just have that, then we would be happy. And obviously grateful for it!

Well, if you were clinging to it, I am sorry to break it out to you without further ceremonies. But it is truly the other way round.

  • When you purposefully  look for the good things around you, all you can be grateful for, and start appreciating more, then happiness follows. That’s it. No conditions attached. 

Being grateful IS the key to being happy.

It is a simple trick. Very straightforward. It does not require you to enroll in a long-winded, possibly endless quest. And what matters most: It will never fail you. Ever.

Frankly, I have learned this the hard way. And, if you are anything like me (that is: always trying your best to be super-efficient and optimize every step of the way - with no detail left unturned), you and I both have been stuck on this for what surely feels like an eternity. All the while just striving to be happier. And at the end, always wondering: 

What is still missing now? 

All. Or nothing. It is up to you.

The answer is: Nothing. And everything. It depends on which side we are looking at, from where we stand. 

  • On the one hand, nothing is missing. Because happiness comes from within. Externalities do not matter. At least, not as much as the way we choose to weigh them. It is what we make of any given situation that counts. More than the situation itself. Think about it, it is all about perspectives:
    • Fear can be turned into excitement. 
    • The unknown into adventure. 
    • And the obstacles on the way into valuable opportunities.
  • On the other hand, everything is missing. Because if we tag our happiness to external results (which, let’s be clear, are never entirely in our control!) then we will always be just one step behind its reach. Forever stuck in a hamster-wheel. And one of our very own making at that! We trick ourselves into believing that our efforts are well worthy. As we are chasing happiness. But all we are doing is going on a loop, and keep falling short of it. At each turn. 

So, here is the thing:

  • The “bad” news is: It is easier (and very tempting!) to play the victim. True be told, it feels like a hell of a responsibility to be the one in charge. Look around you: All those managers in highly paid corporate jobs being unsufferable “masters of delegation” - while “mastering” very little otherwise. I could name a few - but I won’t, out of chivalry… One day, sooner than we expect, it might as well be us.
  • The “good” news is: You are the one in charge. Your own ultimate boss - Yes, even - and way - above what you kept on dutifully referring to as “your boss” on the corporate ladder. Let go of the goddamn ladder! Keep hold on the truth: No matter what you are told, at the end it is always your choice. You can play nice or play smart. Or both - as long as you don’t forget that we are all just playing! At the end, however, it is you who call the shots. You might hide from such a daunting task. But then again, you might as well relinquish that power. And that is what you should be doing. Wisely. 

It is not happy people who are grateful. It is GRATEFUL people who are HAPPY.

So, stop blaming life, bad luck. Or the weather (well, as of that, here in Germany there is a very insightful saying - one you can apply to many other areas of life as well - that: “There is not such a thing as bad weather. Just the right or the wrong clothes”). And since we are on a “lenient” path: let also your inept boss be - even the poor guy deserves a break. 

Nothing and nobody is not holding _your_ happiness.
Because _you_ are!

Happiness is not an end to race to. Seriously: you can give yourself a break. Stop running. Slow down. Take in the view. Just breathe. 

Because happiness is nothing, but a byproduct of the way you live your life. The end does not matter as much as the path you pick. And little steps can make a big difference.

Your weekly digest of happiness.

So, in the spirit of breaking happiness into perfectly small bits, and truly savoring each day, I will share my “secret receipt” with you. There are seven days of the week, aren’t there? So there are at least seven chances to be happy. One fresh chance with every new day. Well, I have a daily booster for you. You can call it your “weekly digest”. Here you go - Which day is today?

1 - Monday: Think less. Feel more.

2 - Tuesday: Frown less. Smile more.

3 - Wednesday: Talk less. Listen more.

4 - Thursday: Judge less. Accept more.

5 - Friday: Consume less. Create more

6 - Saturday: Complain less. Appreciate more.

7 - Sunday: Fear less. Love more

Go ahead. Be resolute, and hang this on your “wall of fame”. Or be creative, and paint it on your mirror. Or just keep it tidy, and add it as a daily reminder on your calendar. Whatever works best for you. Start now. Make each day count. 

Have a grateful week! 

Yes, grateful, as in “great-full”. Meaning full of greatness. Why - did you think that was just a hazard?