2- Be Whole 2.15- Find Peace Playing Rules

Rule 45: Meditate. Allow yourself to disconnect from the world to reconnect with yourself

Ego says: once everything falls into place, I will find peace.
Spirit says: find peace, and everything falls into place.

A while ago one of my yoga teachers started the class with a very powerful statement, which still lingers in my mind. After a day at work, it was good that I was not dozing off in the dim-lighted, comfy yoga room already and paid attention instead. She said:

Prayer is when you talk to God. Meditation is when you listen.

As with most eye-opening, unraveling “truths” - paradoxically - once revealed, they suddenly appear like the most obvious thing in the world. But should that really be that surprising? Aren’t truths by their nature meant to be straightforward - self-evident even?

In fact, what I shall hereby baptize as the “Duh-reaction” is for me the one “sure proof” of any inherent truth. Unless it feels natural, it is _not_ your truth.

Indeed, back to my yoga class, I remember thinking to myself: “But of course! Why didn’t I ever see that”? In other words - I was having my big “Duh-moment”.

Having been brought up by Christian parents and - before my “age of rebellion” - having attended a private whole-girls school run by nuns, I never thought of any other way to communicate with the divine (whatever that is for each of us) than through quite skimpy prayers - of the sort rather resembling a “bucket list” filled with (more or less) “godly” wishes. Okay - thinking back to what I most wished for as an unruly teenager (well - and now as an even more established “unruly” adult), we can probably safely strike the “godly” attribute entirely.

But then who says that communication to God (or the creator, the divine, the universe - whatever fits best for you. I will keep it with God here for simplicity) should only be one way? In interpersonal relationships, communication is a two-way channel - well, at least in healthy ones. Why should that be otherwise with God?

In fact, isn’t it even beautiful to know that God is speaking to us too - making us forget our “wish-bucket list” altogether?

The answer you seek never comes when the mind is busy. It comes when the mind is still.

Meditation is “teaching” - wait no, that to me sounds a bit patronizing - better: “allowing” and _giving space_ for the mind to be quiet.

The mind’s job is to think and think… and soon enough: over-think! But we cannot get angry for the mind doing its job - and even exceeding at it! That is what the mind is meant to do.

But meditation is meant to show us that we have a higher, more comprehensive layer, beyond our plain rationality - which is where our normal thinking is done.

There are many quite sophisticated paraphrasis about this, but I would put it this way - quite simply:

Thinking occurs at a mere rational level, which is centered in our Brain;
Meditation occurs at a deeper subconscious level, which is centered in our Heart.

Have you ever woken up while still holding the very last glimpse of a dream, trying to commit it to memory before it fades away? Then you know the feeling. And you also know the subtle nature of this given duality already:

While you were dreaming, it was just you and your dream - or so you thought.
But when you wake up, you realize there was also another you - the one _observing_ your dream.

With thoughts and meditation it is the same:

While you are thinking, it appears there is nothing else, just you and your thoughts.
But when you meditate, you realize that you can also _observe_ your thoughts.

If you think this is trivial, well think again! This is huge. And honestly, it comes as a relief as well. See:

While you might not be able to stop your thoughts (I gave up trying!) and just enter in an instant state of bliss the moment you set to meditate,
You do not need to engage or feel troubled by them, because you have _another choice_ than to just follow them blindly.
You are free to simply observe your thoughts, like you would with those overflying clouds crossing the sky.

Because remember:

You are _not_ your thoughts.
Your mind is the one doing the thinking.
You are the one _observing_ your thoughts.

You are like the blue sky, where sometimes clouds (your thoughts) form, pass by and eventually dissolve. But whatever happens, even during the meanest-looking storm, the blue sky is always there, above the clouds.

Allow yourself to disconnect from the world to reconnect with yourself.

Here is the problem though: We are too often so busy and over-committed that we end up entangling our own identity with all that stuff we do and plan. We let the storm take over, forgetting about the blue sky just above us.

We let the crazy rollercoaster of our thoughts take us for the “wild ride”, all the way up and high, exalted by our success one moment - and the next depressed and suddenly dragged down by any perceived shortcoming.

That is where we need to snap out of the frenzy and pull our own emergency brake.

You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes every day. Unless you're too busy, then you should sit for 1 hour
Zen Proverb

Just stop and take a step back… How did we end up here? Where were we? (Me? I do not even like roller coasters - never actually felt that happily “entertained” as I felt I was supposed to in entertainment parks. Sorry!).

It is only when we silence all the background noise, that we can finally hear our inner selves. And realize that all that stuff we keep on fussing about doesn't really matter anyway. What matters is that we are alive. And that we are part of something much bigger than us. Beyond our body, our thoughts, we are pure energy.

Our consciousness is our inner portal to a deeper layer of an infinite web, where all is connected. Do you hear this? If we just stop and listen, we feel our heartbeat - as one with the heartbeat of the universe.

Of all the sophisticated meditation techniques, just one really did it for me. It is the simplest of all. No need for esoteric mantras, labored breathing techniques, or scented candles.

All you need is you. Your candle is your inner smile. And if you need some help to ignite that light, just ask yourself:

What can I be grateful for today?

As for the mantra, if you still wish for it, I shall share my most effective one with you. It is not of the conventional type, but for me it always works wonders. Here you can borrow mine too:

(Breathe in) Forget, (Breathe out) Everything!

No, seriously! I am not joking here. Go ahead and completely erase all to-do-items from your mind. Puff - Gone! Create space with emptiness. In the “here and now”- allow yourself to forget everything! Yes, even (no, especially!) what you are supposed to do and plan next. You will be surprised how incredibly uplifting it is to simply give yourself permission to forget… and just be.

That is my mantra, if I shall oblige to one.

But you do not _need_ a mantra. It is always up to you. In fact, who says that you even need to sit down - and why always close your eyes? You might well find your own bliss by walking (or running!) in nature, swimming in a pool, climbing a mountain, or just lying in your bed (and if you shall fall asleep, take that as a bonus!). No need to get all “saintly” or austere when looking for your moment of bliss. Just go for it!

As for me - aside from my few remarkable “forget everything” meditation climax - I am still a novice and enjoying experimenting, while doing my best to keep clear of the most dogmatic approaches. However, among my string of (more or less) comical trials, one stands out for unfailingly delivering on my Nirvana moment.

Brace yourself for it!...
Ready?
Here you go:

Dipping in ice-cold water!

I have to admit that I was not looking (or hoping) for any Nirvana-moment at all when I first started. That was during one of the first lockdowns here and, if at all, I was rather feeling bored to tears given the quite limited options for breaking through the same repetitive routine when stepping outside.

A bit depressed of being in a city which appeared to have lost its pulse and (with all - arguably - “non-essential” venues tightly shut-down) reduced to a phantom doppelgänger of its former self, I packed my stuff and found myself spending more and more time in what was originally meant just as a simple weekend residence, outside town and - that is the best part - only a few steps from an incredibly beautiful lake.

So, I decided on a whim: Why not go for a dip?

Well, before you raise your “so what” eyebrow there, let me make a dutiful premise here: it was March. In Germany. With 1-digit temperatures. There was no human soul in, or around the lake for that matter. Most sensible people were bundled up and keeping warm inside. Which suddenly made the idea even more appealing to me!

After the first “break-the-ice” moment, the real Magic happened! Once inside, floating for a few moments, I found nothing else than pure bliss. Both my body and my mind were totally chilled - a word that I probably used a thousand times until then without ever truly embracing its deepest meaning.

I was like suspended between water and sky - Mesmerized by the diffuse light glimmering on the smooth surface of the lake. That did the trick: all thoughts instantly shut down, all feelings intensified and centered around the beating of my heart (which was probably geared into a “survival mode” by the way!). I never attained that after (what seemed in comparison endless!) attempts sitting down meekly in meditation.

I came out red as a crab - and immediately ran into my bathtub to let steaming hot water revive me (My feet! What is wrong with them? Did they just turn blue?). That by the way, in the bathtub, was my second moment of bliss (my own Nirvana!) in just a matter of minutes.

Since that first time, I went back for it again and again - even after one of my friends let it be known that just by looking at me she got goose pimples - and felt like grabbing her sweater. But nothing could change what I felt. My dip in the ice moment (and ensuite hot bathtub) became the highlight of my day - sure to instantly brighten up even the grayest and dullest of those winter days.

If you are (like me!) a declared coffee lover and think that makes you awake - mark my words:

You know nothing, John Snow!