When your dream comes knocking at your door - and you are still in your pajamas

Right now, the question - who do I wish to be - is particularly weighing on me. And I do not take this statement lightly, given my proclivity for questioning everything - Yes, I have been (and probably still am a bit) stuck in the loop of the even more bugging and related (like an “evil twin”) question - who am I meant to be - for what feels like an eternity.

After years of dreaming (and pestering all those around me - I know!) about taking a sabbatical, in just a few weeks' time, I will be there - in my (sort of) sabbatical! 

Well, I will elaborate on the details of how this “sort of sabbatical” came to be a little later (see Rule 53 and Rule 54), as that is in its own rights a story within the story. 

Now, like facing the ocean for the first time, the boundlessness of my choices feels mesmerizing. 

• On the one hand, I want to reach out to the wonder, all at once. 
• On the other hand, I do not know where to start. 

After debating all possibilities forever, I have not even picked my first destination yet! I feel like I have so much time now - and yet not enough, so I shall make the best of it - or so my evil-perfectionist twin proclaims! 

In the end, it comes down to this: Who do I wish to be? Where shall this adventure lead me? What am I looking for?
Because, as you know, we should always… 

Start with the end in mind - Or just start and embrace your open-end.

The beauty of not having everything figured out - Embracing the unknown

But what if the end is not supposed to be a fixed target, like when pursuing a strategy, but rather a fluent mark, that can only be read when you get close, and changes as you go along your journey?

After all, a “self-discovery” would not be one if everything is set, and there is nothing left to discover. The beauty of it lies in keeping an open-end.

Except that, now that I can do so much, with so many possibilities, here is the thing: I am both thrilled, about all that can be done, and clueless, about where to start - let alone what the end should be. 

• Good - ideally, why set limits when everything is possible, and I am finally completely free?
• Bad - logistically, all is on the table - and nothing is ready yet! 

And no, my husband is not helping at all! He is the most supportive, good-natured, easy-going, “I am fine with whatever you pick” dream (and hell) of a person you can ever imagine. So, in the end, the “honor” of the decision falls on me entirely! 

• Shall we start with me taking a yoga teacher training in the south of Italy - indeed, my non-attending, but natural born-yogi of a husband will even be perfectly fine with that? 
• Or shall we head straight to Hawaii, a long standing wish-list topper of ours, in a “go big or go home” style (which, amidst the current covid-related travel disruptions, despite boosters and all, might just mean “home” for us)? 
• Well, shall we play it “safe” then and rather keep a closer orbit near home - which for us in south Bavaria translates at this time of the year with a ski holiday in the Austrian Alps?

This is exactly the paradox of choice! We are made to assume that, in our modern and ever-optimizing society, the more we get, the better.

But let me break yet another myth right here. The reality is: 

The more we get, the less we can decide. 

If you have ever been stuck in the aisle of one of those mega stores (that I shall openly call out as a hellish abomination!), you know this to be true, when you are dizzily standing just in front of the condiments rack trying to sort out the “right” olive oil - which of course needs to be “extra virgin”! And that before even starting with your actual shopping list.

Somebody has to explain this to me: Who is actually happy, or even just halfway “sane”, after spending hours shallowed in the endless meanders of a Super - No, sorry: Megastore! - and then coming out of it carrying piles of stuff one did not even need in the first place?

I know I cannot underline this enough:

Less is more.

We can only pick or enjoy one thing at a time anyway.

Whatever giant corporate players in the Amazon’s league purport to do by offering you more choices, mark these words: it is not more quality. It is more confusion - only coupled with more frustration, whenever you try to actually limit your choices through narrower defining criteria that get unceremoniously thrown out the window and trumped by the invariably all-encompassing list of results.

If you are inclined to feel jolly here, just try to test your mood again after tipping “mattress” followed by any specific measurements in your Amazon’s marketplace search - and… Well, good luck with your merry mood!

Evocating from my own jolly times, as I was indulging myself in the fleeting pursuit of wisdom, I still have to smile whenever I recall what a brilliant professor taught during my LL.M. in intellectual property and competition law, as he conceded that: 

In a nutshell, the main purpose of trademarks is to lead us to identify reliable products, based on the marketing repute established by their producers, so that we would be “spared” the torture of an endless choice.

Basically, well-known trademarks are for overwhelmed buyers, what Michelin stars are for choosy diners. They take on the task of sorting up the mess for us, while ideally pointing us in a (purportedly) reliable direction. Sure, that is not everything. And that direction might not always be the right one for us - only we can decide that. But it is at least a start. 

But what to do to navigate our day-to-day field of seemingly endless choices, well beyond the realm of Michelin stars or trademarks? And as I am raising the question, what should I do next for my sabbatical, which is very, very soon now?

Let’s see: Less is more, right?…
In doubt, that always applies. So, any clue there?
Well, actually, yes! 

Taking one little step at a time

Who says I need to lay out the whole planimetry of my sabbatical all in one go? That is too much - a daunting task! All I need to do right now really is just to figure out my first move, because, in a journey of self-discovery, the end is indeed not supposed to be a fixed one. 

And by the way, didn’t my husband and I get a campervan for that? To be able to stay super-flexible and adjust our routes as we go? Well, it is settled then! We shall pack lightly. And move South. Towards the Alps, my homeland and… Who knows?

Let’s get surprised by following a trail of sunshine, new friendly acquaintances, and good vibes in whatever form and shape they shall enlighten us in our journey. And let's make space for more wonders.

Step by step.
One thing at a time.