How my dream that “one day I shall take a sabbatical” finally became “the day I took a (sort of) sabbatical” (Part II)

The big announcement. Or is it a joke?

Sometimes the silver line appears where you less expect it!

The announcement of our baby’s arrival was at least as astounding as the fact that She came to us. That was well after my partner and I had been giving up hanging on that thin hope that we would get a baby “someday” – after all, we had been neither overly keen on having some random fertility doctor messing up with the “wisdom of nature”, nor on a romanceless agenda based on obsessive body temperature checks to assess the best “timing” to get more intimate.

Yet She arrived – and what an unexpected revelation that was!

It was by pure chance that I was at the gynecologist for a routine check that morning. A few days earlier I had received a courtesy call from one of the kind receptionists there, who wished to let me know that, despite the ongoing Covid-19 restrictions, they were again open, taking all precautions as needed, of course. In fact, as she reminded me that my last routine check had been more than a year before, she wanted to ask whether I needed an appointment again (a story that never fails to leave my Italian friends awestruck - used, as I was as well with our doctors, to be “begging” for, certainly never reminded about, even “life and death” appointments). 

So, here I was, standing in the waiting room of my gynecologist, a bit impatient to get on and planning my day ahead already. After all, I had nothing to report. All was OK. After all, that was just another routine check to tick off on my agenda.

Or so I thought… Nothing had prepared me for what came next.

As I was dutifully lying down for my regular ultrasound examination, looking out of the window and fully lost in my own thoughts, the doctor all of a sudden brought me back to reality with words I could not quite place: “Here is the baby!”

The way I was still processing that, he might as well have said something completely random like: “Look at that little bird outside!”

For a second then, I thought a little kid must have entered the room, unaccounted.
But no, no straying kids in sight.

Instead, lazily turning my head towards the doctor’s screen, still completely puzzled, I saw Her for the first time. A perfect black and white moving silhouette of a minuscule being, right there in front of me, with a super-fast, tiny beating heart.

Against all odds, with a fierce determination

No way! Impossible! Is this really happening?

Then turning to my doctor with a mix of disbelief, surprise, and exhilaration, all at once, it was my turn to revert with words none could quite place – Because what are you expected to respond to a doctor, who you did not see you for the past year, in such circumstances?

Me: “Oh, Wow! Thank you!”

I was eleven weeks pregnant already – with neither clue nor “unequivocal signs” to account for it. 

Nope, no morning sickness!
On the contrary, I had been more active than ever, training like crazy on my newly installed TRX (standing for “Total Body Resistance Exercise”, a hell of a workout method invented by a former Navy Seal, which - as the commercial tag goes - utilizes body gravity as resistance to build strength, balance, and flexibility). Yes, that was the first thing I duly bought and drilled to the ceiling, upon learning the gym was going to be temporarily closed following the first wave of Covid-19). I was even still going river surfing at the Eisbach (before that fun too was shut down for a while).

Well, I knew my cycles were just very irregular.

Yes, I had gained maybe a couple of kilos… But I had found a culprit for that already – Her still unknowingly dad, of course! He stood “guilty as charged” of over-feeding me with good food during the last couple of months of lockdown. I know, there are worse things to “complain” about.

I left still in a dream-like state to meet my husband, who was waiting for me in the car outside and, after the first hour, had probably been wondering why a quick, routine check would take such a long time. Well, I told him.

His reaction? No congratulations, no excitement, in fact… Nothing.
He thought it was a joke.

I could only convince him that I really was not making everything up by showing him the irrefutable, key piece of evidence: The ultrasound video - backed by my super weird conversation with the doctor after I awkwardly asked him whether I could possibly film the special event and have it committed to memory - for all to see and wonder.

Mission accomplished! Now both future dad and I were in a dream-like state together, still unable to fully process what just happened. Utterly unprepared, but already entering a wholly new, frenzied state of hyperactivity and overplanning all that needed to be still done, bought, and even eaten over the long waiting to come.

Our baby was on her way!

Looking back to that day, when She brought her light into our lives, so much has happened. Nothing is as it used to be now. Since then, everything has been rewritten.

Because defying all odds, and no matter the challenges ahead, She was determined to be here with us. And she made it! No doubt, no fear, just love. Our big little wonder in flesh and bones is a living reminder that, when you put your heart to it (sometimes not just figuratively!), everything is possible.

Reckoning time: My “lucky escape”

And once faced with such fearless determination from such a tiny being who finally made it into our life, all doubts, fears, and excuses suddenly disappeared. All became clear. 

When I picked up the phone to make the call, it was me calling the shots. No haggling or favors begging. This time I did not have to “ask” really - but simply inform my manager that, as it turned out, I was indeed expecting a baby. I would be taking my full parental leave after the baby was born. 

That, by the way, is a very privileged right that in Germany is now proudly provided to both parents equally. That meant that my partner and I could take our parental leave together. I dutifully handed a simple one-page letter with my period of absence to the company, as required. 

Unlike a conventional sabbatical, the “baby-sabbatical” is not subject to the capricious discretion of an inscrutable superior. It is cemented by law. In fact, in a forward-looking, liberal social democracy, it is one of the few “holy rights” granted to working parents. After all, with no babies, nobody would be working or paying those precious taxes tomorrow, so a bit of respite for working parents is also a matter of self-preservation.

Mr. MM had made his priority of “running a business” very clear - with “taking care of (his) people” left just as an empty “declaration of intent”, with no afterthought. So, it was following his hard lead that I took “my business” into my own hand - only, unlike him, I would be taking care of “my people” as well, little ones included. 

With a smile, I realized that in fact, I was grateful to Mr. MM for his cool-blooded logic back then. Maybe - just maybe - had he been more caring, I would have felt “obliged” to repay him in kindness, resuming business as usual shortly after my baby would be born, without realizing what I would be giving up. It was much better this way then. With no strings attached. Indeed, I could consider this my lucky “escape”...