It is not raining on you. It is just raining

I heard that years ago and its truthful irony impressed me. It is tempting to fall in the cliché of playing the victim. It is certainly easier that way than to accept that things are what they are and, if that bothers us, and we have a choice (we mostly do!), act on them. Sure, we cannot change the weather, but we could move to a sunnier place. Or learn to enjoy the rain and get out of the house regardless of the weather. To put this blatantly, the point is:

Act on whatever bothers you. Or shut up.

Besides, why be so quick in tagging “negative” experiences? It might not be sunny all days, but a rainy day does not just carry heavy clouds. It also brings freshness and green with it. And sometimes we might have a better time relaxing at home, reading a book (this, for example), than sweating in a long queue for ice cream.

In fact, have you ever noticed the wonderful “catalytic effect” carried on the trail of a “bad” thing? The way even the most complacent among us (at last!) rise to the occasion when confronted, that one time too much, with what has been bothering us forever? 

Here you go. That is how bad experiences can act as catalysts, accelerating a reaction that, until then, has been quietly boiling just under the surface. It might be a toxic person or an increasingly annoying situation that you have been indulging in way too long already. Things that were silently eating you up, which, in fact, belonged to discarded all along.

I was amused by the story of a fellow Italian with a big passion for cooking who apparently got so “fed up” with the mishappened catering organized by his employer that he finally resolved to quit his job. Well, he had to take it upon himself to start his own catering firm. The logic suddenly appeared simply undisputable: if they can do it like that - and, not only get away with it but actually, get paid for it - then why not him? 

Remember Rule 2? Start with asking yourself: “Why not”? Be the daring one.

Indeed, when in doubt, that is the right question: 

Why not?

Tipping the scale

The same goes for any endured “wrong” that, eventually, ends up tipping the scale of your mental sanity and demands redress: 

• How about that well-deserved vacation that your hopelessly absent-minded boss asked you to postpone for that “super important” meeting, which was then carelessly canceled at the last minute? 
• Or that team call, which absolutely “needed” to be scheduled on a free day, and eventually got postponed five minutes after it started, because unsurprisingly some “must-have” contributors had to be excused for being “prevented” from attending - with any further elaboration turning into an unintelligible mumbling?
• Or that friend who canceled on you, after you have been moving mountains to be there for him/her - again?

Well, I let you pick your choice of unjust evil. The point is:

Bad things might happen, so that better things can follow

Picking from a bucket of shared sorrow, take the recent lockdowns and need for social distancing brought by our recent pandemic worldwide. There is no question that they had a disruptive, even traumatic effect on people’s lives - and that some changes will probably affect the way we live for years ahead. 

But, at the same time, some disruptions have not been that bad.

Disruptions might also come with (fully unaccounted for) good “side effects” 

• We got freed of many superfluous external (over-)commitments and finally gained more time truly for ourselves. Many rediscovered the simple pleasures of life, as attested by the rise in demand for things like online yoga classes, baking classes, and gardening - with some creative options even for urban dwellers there. 
• I guess nobody had “missed” commuting to work and back, and many even reveled in the joy of working from their cushy sofa at home, or from their balcony/garden/bathtub (yes, there is that too!). Plus, having nice real, usually healthier lunches at home, rather than at the canteen or local stores.
• And finally, the ones that could spare some savings (with less going out, fewer restaurant bills eventually also add up!) took the big step of swapping their city apartment altogether to move into a more spacious country home, closer to nature and to tons of opportunity for some (perfectly social-distancing-compliant) fun outdoor activities just at their doorstep.

We are often too quick in judging negative experiences - and certainly very biased in relating them. In fact, when something does not go as well as expected, we tend to focus only on that one negative thing, easily overlooking the scores of good things that we end up taking for granted - sometimes left neglectingly trailing on the tail of whatever went “wrong”.

Evolutionary thoughts

There would be no progress, no innovation and, ultimately, no evolution at all from the status quo, if everything went well all the time. Why after all bother with change if everything works already? 

We usually hear that need is the mother of all inventions. But I would digress here, because that is only part of the truth. 

You do not take the initiative and just do something because it is “needed”.
You do it because the status quo pisses you off.

It is not just “need” or “scarcity” itself that causes evolution. It is being pissed off, and deciding it is time to finally do something about it that brings change. 

Need, or scarcity for that matter, is too often passively acknowledged as somebody’s else responsibility. It is resolving to rise to the challenge to actually fix it, and go “kick some asses”, to be the real mother of all inventions. 

And, as I can now fully attest, as a parent myself: 

Nothing can stand in the way of an angry mum!