Some “necessary evils” are not that necessary after all.
How to make yourself scarce around negative people.

Now that we have set the record straight on how to actually face a negative experience - that is, at eye level, no frightful deference needed - let’s throw some light also into its darkest corner: negative people _causing_ negative experiences. 

Sure, a negative experience can be a learning one too, in that it shakes us into action, helping us to correct course for a better way forwards. But while there is no need of demonizing a negative experience, and no use in hiding from them, the same conciliatory approach does not automatically extend to negative people. Because the only thing to learn from a negative person is - well, to keep as far as possible from them. Yes, there might even be some merit in going into hiding there. Meeting them at eye level would only be an eyesore.

The truth is not always pretty. And while I could perpetuate the fairy tale here about giving everybody a second chance and being ever forgiving, the fact is that:

Negative people seldom turn from annoying flies - into delightful butterflies. 

Change comes (only) from within

Sure, people can change. But while you (and only you!) have a final choice about what you ultimately want, and can do, you do not have a wand to spread magic dust on all those around yourself as well. 

Change is something that can only be activated from within. No amount of wishful thinking, prayer or even bribe can _make_ others be, or do, anything they do not want already. 

You know that if you have been locked in any sort of toxic relationship, that is one where only one party (or none) is benefitting - and it is clear that that party is not you. The usual culprit is somebody we _assume_  that by “necessity” we cannot get rid of, be it a close family member, a friend, or (last but now least) an overbearing manager at work. So what to do? 

Given that you have no control over others, the only thing you can actually do, is to choose how to engage with them. And, well - whether to engage at all.

Spoiler alert:

Some “necessary evils” are not that necessary after all.

Activating your inner “thermostat”.
Direct your energy flow where it serves you best.

Having suffered myself my fair share of (assumed, until knowing any better) “necessary evils”, I found my own inner “safe harbor” by finally stumbling into a most unusual (and until then wholly unfamiliar) object, left neglectfully catching dust in an obscure corner of my own consciousness. 

I was unsure what to make of it, until I observed its work in action: 

• Whenever I was in the presence of an “energy-sucking” or gloomy person, it will turn into “saving” mode, by redirecting my energy flow elsewhere. 
• Conversely, whenever I was with somebody inspiring, fun and uplifting, it will turn on at full power again, glowing with warmth. 

It functioned as a sort of inner thermostat: Once properly fine-tuned to its surrounding, it prevents pointless energy wastage. That comes very handily whenever our personal energy field would be on collision course with our own, most familiar “black-holes” - energy-draining people, or situations, gravitating dangerously close to one's orbit.

Indeed, in the same way as it would be pointless to warm a deserted house, why waste precious energy on “lost causes” or undeserving people - regardless of their supposed proximity, or alleged “status”, in our own family or work hierarchy? 

What I have observed again and again - paying a high price for it, is that:

Proximity is often a poor proxy for worthiness.

Just observe any “regular” dysfunctional family and you will see the point. And, while it took me a while to recognize it, my own inner-thermostat had been desperately trying to send the right signal all along: that sensation of sudden “chill” whenever my mum had one of her “moods” again - nope! That had nothing to do with the weather after all. 

Somebody is either good or not for you.
Proximity only increases your exposure to that effect - it does not change it.

How often do we see people suffering, especially at the hands of those that they keep close, because they think they have to? 

Sure, you cannot choose your family, as you can choose your friends, but you can choose how much sense it makes to keep on sending energy that way, when you end up feeling drained all the time. 

And because you cannot choose your family, what is the point of feeling guilty anyway?

Sure, you have only those parents, or those relatives. But then again, instead of regretting a bad match, be happy that, after all, you have just those few people to deal with. And do it decisively. There are so many accounts of people suffering all their life because they think they have to “endure” a toxic relationship on account of “family ties”, or any such arbitrarily allocated bonds, regardless of us having nothing to do with it! 

If you find yourself wanting for examples, because your world has been simply created perfect, then just watch Better Call Saul - or pick from the fill of your televised family drama of choice! 

Most likely though, if you are like most of us, tainted human beings doing their best to appear “sane”, you will be spoiled for choice without even needing to leave your doorstep.

Whatever our breed though, our connection to our deeper self, and the unbound energy flow of the world around us, runs at a much higher frequency than any self-imposed, limiting “allegiance”, either of kin or otherwise. 

It is only when you realize you have a choice, and unplug your energy from any over-draining source, that you truly get a chance to recharge, operate at full power, and brightly glow your light into the world. You are part of something much bigger. Don’t let any limiting belief get in the way of your freedom. 

Free your energy flow.
Be defined by what lifts you up, not what drags you down.